(One Piece) Super Ego

[salmon_pink]

Title: Super Ego
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Gin/Sanji
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1876
Notes: For shinsei_kitsune's request at sanji_is_a_slut.
Summary: Near-death experience. Maybe. Near-something experience.



His first clue that he might be hallucinating is when the blonde chef from the Baratie leans forward and kisses him on the cheek. Just like that, just like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Gin’s hand flies to his face, and he doesn’t even notice the way he manages to smear blood over his cheek as he traces the invisible sensation of lips and heat. Doesn’t notice it until Sanji rolls his eyes and produces a frilly pink handkerchief from nowhere and wipes the stain away.

“So messy,” Sanji giggles and, yeah, Gin’s hallucinating, because the real Sanji would never giggle, and he certainly wouldn’t be fluttering his eyelashes like the vision in front of him.

“Am I dead?” Gin asks. The last thing he remembers is that sword flying towards his face, so at least he can be proud he died in battle.

Except Sanji’s eyes fly wide, his hands cover his mouth, and he might just be trembling. Pale and looking like he’s about to cry, and it’s only complete and utter shock that stops Gin from blocking when the other man lunges towards him.

And then he has an armful of quivering blonde. “How could you even say that?” Sanji wails into his shoulder.

Gin looks around for help, but there’s nothing but endless white. So he settles for awkwardly patting Sanji on the shoulder. “There there,” he mutters because it seems like the right thing to say.

Sanji sniffles against his neck and clings to him. Gin waits patiently for the shaking to subside.

“So, seriously, am I dead?”

*

Sanji sets the china cup down in front of him, and stands back with his hands clasped in front of him. Gin glances down at the steaming, sweetly scented tea, then back up at Sanji, who stares at him expectantly.

He sighs and lifts the cup to his lips.

He can’t taste it. He can’t even feel the heat against his tongue.

“It’s delicious,” Gin lies, and watches the grin that spreads across Sanji’s face. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear the air around him was sparkling.

Not that he’d put anything past this strange place. The tiny wooden house had appeared out of nowhere before them; one moment he’d been looking at white space, then he’d made the mistake of blinking, and Sanji had been holding the door open for him.

“What would you like to eat?” Sanji asks, gesturing to the rest of the kitchen, which seems to change shape every time Gin looks at it. “I’ll make you your very favourite food, all you have to do is ask.”

“I want to know if I’m dead,” Gin says, voice level.

Sanji sighs and flops down at the table opposite Gin. He reaches into the breast pocket of his shirt and fishes out a packet of cigarettes. Gin watches silently as he brings one to his lips, cupping his hand over the lighter before taking a deep drag.

Gin instantly feels more comfortable.

“I don’t get it,” Sanji mutters. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Gin frowns at him. “Why would I want to be dead?”

“Who said you were dead?” Sanji grumbles around the cigarette.

“What is this?” Gin asks patiently. “What should I want?”

“This,” Sanji snaps, gesturing around them with the cigarette. “I’m here, I’m looking after you. No need to run around after that fake Admiral anymore, no need to ever worry about starving ever again.”

Gin stares around them at the kitchen, which has changed shape again, and has to fight down the feeling of being offended. “I don’t need looking after,” he states thinly. “Why would you even think that?”

“Because it’s what you want,” Sanji explains as if talking to a child. “That’s why I’m here, after all. You want me to take care of you.”

Gin can feel a headache coming.

“Am I dead? Just tell me already,” he moans, head dropping into his hands.

“Shut up about that, would you? Look,” Sanji punctuates by pointing the cigarette at him. “When you think about me, you’re happy. Even Krieg notices it, that’s why he tries to keep you distracted by giving you shit to kill. And your main memories of me revolve me feeding you and looking out for you, right?”

Gin frowns and doesn’t answer.

“So, naturally, it stands to reason that you want me to look after you. That’s what makes you happy,” Sanji finishes, smug smile tugging at his mouth. “Now, where were we? Oh yeah.” His voice raises into something far too feminine. “What would you like to eat? I’ll make you anything.”

Gin pinches the bridge of his nose. “Wait, are you saying you’re my subconscious?”

“I suppose that’s better than constantly asking if you’re dead,” Sanji shrugs, and he sounds like himself again.

Gin places his hands on the table in front of him and bows his head slightly. He has to close his eyes against all of it, can’t concentrate with the shifting kitchen and the endless white and the subservient poses Sanji keeps striking.

“I don’t need you to look after me,” he growls. “If I’m happy when I think about you, maybe it’s nothing to do with the food, maybe it’s to do with me.” Because that feels right, that feels like the truth. His time at the Baratie opened his eyes to his own state, his own loyalties and his own way of thinking, and Sanji’s presence may have helped that but it wasn’t the only factor. It wasn’t all about Sanji.

But Sanji doesn’t let him finish. He hears the shift of fabric as Sanji stands, and opens his eyes to see Sanji stub out his cigarette on an ashtray that hadn’t existed moments before.

“Okay, I get it,” he murmurs, and there’s a dangerous edge to his voice as he stalks closer. “You don’t want me to look after you.” He saunters around the table, and Gin watches him through narrowed eyes. And then he forgets to breathe as one of those endlessly long legs swings over his thighs.

“You just want me,” Sanji purrs, looking down at him through heated eyes.

Gin wonders when his subconscious got so fucked up.

Sanji’s lips are hard against his own, and they tingle like nicotine and everything else that’s bad for you but utterly addictive. Gin makes a noise that he never thought he’d hear himself make, something high and confused, and his arms flail as they try to grab the edge of the table but it’s too late.

It doesn’t hurt when he falls on his back on the floor, although Sanji’s weight landing on top of him is still somewhat jarring.

Sanji’s hands are everywhere at once, gripping at his biceps, tugging at his clothes, angling his head for a better angle, deeper, wet tongues and heat. Taking the time to tug at each earring, and if Gin weren’t entirely convinced that his mind was already cracked and broken, that would be the thing to do it.

His own hands grab for Sanji’s wrists, try to pry them away from his body, but Sanji just whines into his mouth. Gasps and bites at his bottom lip, legs tangling around Gin’s own, and Gin distantly tries to remember if the Sanji he met on the Baratie had ever exhibited any signs of being able to writhe like a porn star.

He jerks his head to the side, and he’s panting like he’s run a marathon, or just faced Pearl in one of his moods. And Sanji starts licking at his neck, kissing along his jaw, nosing and rubbing against the stubble there and making these noises that make Gin wish that maybe he was dead after all.

“If you’re my subconscious,” Gin gasps, and he sounds so strained to his own ears. “Does that make this masturbation, or what?”

Sanji laughs against his throat, and his breath is hot enough to burn. “Just go with it,” comes the response.

Gin wishes he could, and doesn’t quite understand why. Really wishes he could when Sanji rolls his hips, and it takes more effort than it should to roll the slighter body off of him and stumble to his feet.

“Am I dead?” he asks again, voice cracking.

“No,” Sanji snaps, pulling himself upright and smoothing down the creases in his jacket. “But if you don’t drop your trousers in the next thirty seconds, you’re gonna wish you were!”

Gin takes a step back, before it sinks in. “I’m really not dead?”

Sanji crosses his arms and looks slightly petulant. “No, you’re not. And we don’t have much time left here, so if you’re going to have any epiphanies about me and your sexuality, we better get down to business.”

“Epiphanies?” Gin asks cautiously, watching Sanji loosen his tie.

“Yes, dumbfuck!” Sanji barks. “You got hit on the head, and you’re going to wake up soon.”

Gin glances around them. The kitchen, the house, it’s all disappeared. The endless white seems off, somehow. It’s closer to beige, or something.

“Eggshell,” Sanji supplies helpfully, then raises his hands defensively when Gin turns to glare.

“Why are you here? Why not Krieg, or someone else?” he demands.

“You want to have sexual fantasies about Krieg?” Sanji splutters, wrinkling his nose in a way that Gin does not find cute.

“I heard that,” Sanji grins smugly, tapping his nose. Gin glowers.

“I don’t want to have sexual fantasies about anyone!” he bellows, and raises a hand before Sanji can interrupt again. “I don’t know what’s happening, but I want to know why it’s you that’s here. I haven’t seen you in months.”

The world around them slowly turns a darker shade of grey.

Sanji frowns, and steps towards him, and when their eyes meet, there’s nothing but sincerity there. “Because you haven’t stopped thinking about me,” he says quietly. “Because you can’t admit it, even to yourself. Because, no matter what you claim, you do want me.”

Gin gapes.

“Or maybe,” Sanji says with a shrug and a smile. “Maybe it’s all just circumstantial.”

Gin snaps. “Fine, I don’t care if I’m dead or having an epiphany or what! I just want you to act like yourself and not some sex-crazed housewife, all right?”

“Myself?” Sanji whispers.

“Yes!” Gin shouts.

Sanji kicks him in the head, and everything goes black.

*

“So messy,” Sanji scoffs, glancing around at the carnage that surrounds them.

“Whatever,” Zoro shrugs, sliding Wadou back into her sheath. He toes the crumpled body of the swordsman who’d been boasting about his skills to anyone who’d listen. “Not even a challenge.”

He steps back, and almost trips over the fallen body. He only vaguely remembers the hilt colliding with something as he’d stepped into the brawl, but he can guess from the rapidly forming bruise just underneath the bandana that he’d managed to knock the guy out with the force of the blow.

“Hey, does he look familiar to you?” he grunts. When he looks up, though, Sanji’s already halfway across the courtyard.

“C’mon, we don’t have time for this, we’ve kept Nami-san waiting long enough,” he calls back.

Zoro frowns and follows, stepping on Gin’s chest as he goes.

Comments

[gladiaria-alata.livejournal.com]

*rubs eyes irritably*

Aww. Poor Gin. :p

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Gin is made of a special kind of fail, the kind that only comes into effect when Sanji's near-by. ;)

[geekchic07.livejournal.com]

I really enjoy your use of present tense. It's a hard medium to work with and you really have it nailed.

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. *beams* When I was at school I would not could not use it, but since I started writing fanfic that I've been much more experimental, so it gave me an opportunity to play with the things my teachers discouraged. I always find it lends itself well to more cracked out plots or to smuttier pieces, for some reason.

[radiopowered.livejournal.com]

GIN YOU BIG DORK I LOVE YOU. He's just... so true to himself in this fic, and he didn't get himself disillusioned by the prospect of having a ready and willing subservient Sanji before him (which, if I was in his shoes, I'd TOTALLY take advantage of. xD) He just knows Sanji so well that he can't take advantage of him like that. The feelings are just so subtle but obvious and yet dream!Sanji tries to both help him fully acknowledge his feelings but also possibly push them a little further (because he's a whore lol).

There was however a really shameless part of me constantly screaming at Gin. "Who cares if you're dead or not? DO SOMETHING ALREADY. HE'S RIGHT THERE IDIOT." xD But then he doesn't do anything and he wakes up and gets trampled over. GAME OVER. D:

This was actually a little different from what I had in mind when I came up with the request, but it's just as good (maybe even better because of how realistic it is) and I love it so. ♥

I also feel super smart for being able to make the connection between the title of the fic and dream!Sanji's actions. I knew my Psy 101 class would pay off. xDDD;

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

I had no idea what I was going to write when I sat down, my fingers just became possessed by the spirit of Gin's fail. XD I thought at first I'd probably go for some messed up kind of AU but the strange dream sequence just ... happened. I love Gin's strange moral code - 'I have no problems with killing hundreds of men, just not this blonde' - so I wanted to work that in there, his skewed sense of values.

But, yes, at the end of the day the silly boy should have just jumped Sanji and be done with it. ;)

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

"Am I dead?" *chortle*

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Poor silly Gin. ;)

[thornyplums.livejournal.com]

BAHA. Gin was just asking for that kick. He must subconsciously have a foot fetish, too.

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't put it past him. XD

[cosmiko.livejournal.com]

This makes me want to shake my head whilst clicking my tongue and going "Gin, Gin, Gin". XD

I like how even though the setting's a dream world that doesn't make sense, there're some serious parts in it, like Gin reflecting on his experience on the Baratie.

This exchange
“Why are you here? Why not Krieg, or someone else?” he demands.
“You want to have sexual fantasies about Krieg?” Sanji splutters
cracked me up. XD

Sanji's kick was a nicely appropriate end to the 'dream'. And the last part was just so mean! Lol!

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Heee, Gin is one of the few people in OP who can fail more spectacularly than Sanji. Mostly when he's in Sanji's presence. XD

[applepiefilling.livejournal.com]

how is it that you can make pg-13 so spectacularly dirty? do not let the entertainment industry examine you. they would use your powers for evil.

but dang was the end depressing. hahaha. oh, man. DIS. MISSED. not only did he screw up a potentially fantastic dream (in SO many ways. dude, gin, who cares what the hell colors the kitchen walls are?!), but he just missed the real deal as well. i'm going to pretend he's going to awaken quickly from being pummeled by a business meaning zoro and be able to catch up to sanji in time >_>;;. then i'll be able to sleep through the night XD.

i love your version of gin, even though he pains me so.

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

It is my firm belief (for some reason) that when Gin fails, he makes Sanji's failures look like spectacular victories by comparison. I mean, he had the boy pinned to the deck outside the Baratie, his overly possesive parental figure was in no position to stop him, and he still didn't manage to get in a good grope? Fail!

[rab-rumrunner.livejournal.com]

“You got hit on the head, and you’re going to wake up soon.”
That'd be a concussion I wouldn't mind having...

Man if Gin had just gone with it, it would be hilarious to see Zoro's reaction when he saw Gin had pitched a tent

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Mwahahaha, duuuude, that comment is now officially this fic's sort-of omake because, damn, that would be fracking hysterical!

[kala-aira.livejournal.com]

Oh Gin...Gin, Gin, Gin.

You make things so much harder on yourself don't you? Why not just take advantage of a willing Sanji? Even if it's a dream? Who cares if your dead? Wouldn't that be a good death?

And then Zoro just takes out the competition with out even realizing it. ^_^

...This just makes me hold ever tighter to my theory that Gin is steadily following Sanji around the Grand Line peeping at him with binoculars always trying to work up the nerve to talk to him again. And whenever he does he ALWAYS fails astonishingly and Sanji never realizes that he was ever there.

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

YES!!! Gin is in the background of every single OP event!! Silently perving on Sanji and trying to convince himself that he is only watching out for Sanji's well-being!

[k-magique.livejournal.com]

Oh, honestly, Gin. What spectacular fail!

This is brilliant in every sense of word. But, although it's a well-known fact that Gin's most prominent character trait is fail, I sometimes wish he could get the boy. For once. lol.

Just out of curiosity, you don't have any intention of writing any more Gin/Sanji, do you? Because there's nowhere near enough and you have them perfect.

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I haven't really thought about Gin in a while - I am planning on rewatching the series from the beginning, so maybe that will refresh my love for him and his fail. ;D

Poor Gin does deserve to get the boy. I guess it's his own fault for failing so damn beautifully. XD

[k-magique.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking of doing the same. Except it'd be more watching the whole thing for the first time. I was going so steadily through it (similarly to a snail in pace, I'd say) and then I went and got distracted. But Gin and his fail have reawoken the One Piece Passion. :P

That's about the truth of it. If he failed with less grandeur maybe some of us could actually picture him getting the boy!
Angst and fail would probably be good enough if there was more of it though! :D

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

AW! This was fantastic! I love Gin struggles with fantasy Sanji and that the cook was actually there SOOO close.

Poor Gin.

But I love it!

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Gin needs to reappear in canon. I love him and his crazy-enough-rival-Sanji failure. Glad you enjoyed the fic, and thank you so much for all these lovely comments, I've been blushing like a loon since I opened my inbox. :D

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

Sorry to deluge you all at once...I was bored at work and found your OP fic Memories...and had to see what you had written when I had taken a break from OPfandom!

THe comments are all deserved my friend!

Oh! And I didn't know you were the starter of Sanji is a slut. Delightful knowledge! You rock even hard now that I know that!

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Ah, poor Sanji Is A Slut. I've opened a browser for it a couple of times since I've gotten back into fandom, and then closed it because I think trying to sort through everything is gonna take forever. *sighs* I feel bad though, I love that comm, I just to devote some serious time to it. I have a feeling my returning post into it is going to be a shameless beg for co-Mods. *hangs head*

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

There, there...I'll try to be more active!

I'm a slut for sanji after all!

I just need to post some 'sanji is a slut' exclusive material and not cross post it everywhere.

I love that you mentioned somewhere you have themes...I need to participate there more and check that out!

[salmon-pink.livejournal.com]

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean that to be a hint for you to be more active or anything, I'm the one whose failed spectacularly to be active. And don't worry about exclusive content, cross-posting is love. ;D

[mishagirl.livejournal.com]

No worries! I didn't take it that way...

I just want Sanji fandom to explode with new and exciting love and was trying to brainstorm how I could help it...

[thrior.livejournal.com]

Awesome fic. Well written, characters were IC and cause hey, it's Sanji/Gin. This pairing just needs more love so I'm always happy to find fics of them. I especially love the way you portrayed Gin. The guy really should make reappearence in canon.

[hollyivy7.livejournal.com]

ah! so close yet so far away