salmon_pink: (Hypno)
Salmon Pink ([personal profile] salmon_pink) wrote2006-04-01 07:08 am

(One Piece) Image

Title: Image
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji
Rating: NC-17
Words: 1331
Summary: Dress to impress, lest they see you’re a mess.



Pink Does Not Necessarily Denote Homosexuality


"That's a girl's shirt."

Long suffering sigh, not in the mood.

"Can it, idiot."

"Sorry, meant to say blouse."

And now the swordsman is smirking like he's gotten the upperhand or something.

"You don't get fashion." Pose for effect. "It looks good on me."

"Well, you do look like a girl."

Grinding of teeth.

"Act like one, too."

"For fuck's-"

"Except you've got a dirty mouth."

Long pause.

"Eh?"

"Yeah, dirty, your lips always wrapped around some fag..."

Zoro watches the graceful arc of the cigarette as Sanji chokes.

"Do you always spit when you're done?"

"S-SHUT UP!"

That damn smirk again.


Dress To Accentuate Your Best Features


"Luffy's hungry."

Glares briefly over his shoulder. "I know! I've already chased him out of here three times in the last seven minutes."

"Hey, I'm not the one trying to steal food, don't get pissy with me, shitty love-cook."

"If you're not here to steal food then why are you here? Why don't you just fuck off?"

Feels the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Turns and Zoro is. Right. There.

"What the-"

"New tie?"

Wide eyes. Mouth open.

Zoro's fingers are tangling in the afore-mentioned tie, tugging Sanji closer.

"Matches your eyes."

He knows he's blushing.

When he comes to his senses, Zoro's already halfway out the door.

"I'll keep Luffy busy."

Sanji remembers to breathe.


Black Is Classic AND Slimming


"There's something wrong with you being a cook and being so skinny."

Distracted, putting the finishing touches to Nami-san's dessert.

"'M not skinny."

Drizzling blueberry sauce in concentric circles.

"And shut up."

Zoro snorts.

"Surprised you don't snap in two every time you attempt to kick someone."

Temper flaring.

"The hell? Why are you always here? Get out of my kitchen!"

Quietly. "Bet all your ribs stick out."

"That does it - OUT!"

And he's storming forward, ready to raise a foot to Zoro's temple, when strong hands grab his hips and use his momentum to spin him into the table.

"What the fuck?"

But those hands have already tugged his shirt loose and are underneath, travelling up the bare skin of his sides.

Sanji's sure he squeaks.

Fingers tracing the contours of his chest.

"See, can feel all your ribs."

"Saaanji-kuuun!" Nami's voice, impatient.

"Bl-blueberry!" Sanji manages.

Zoro laughs.


Practicality Can Still Be Stylish


The fake coughing isn't really covering the snickers.

"Give it a rest. I needed a new apron after Luffy set my last one on fire."

"But... that?"

Vague gesture to the 'Kiss The Chef' slogan.

"It's an apron, isn't it?"

More fake coughing/snickering.

Starry eyes. "Besides, Nami-san says it's cute."

A genuine roar of laughter.

"Oh, get over it. I've been wearing it for days now. It's not funny anymore."

"Days, eh? And Nami's still not obeyed the oh-so-cute apron?"

"Shut up! And no, she hasn't."

His back hits the wall and then there's lips and a hint of tongue and Zoro leans away, smug.

"The apron made me do it."

Sanji might scream.


As A Source Of Inspiration, Keep A Pair Of 'Skinny Jeans'


Sanji wants to kick Zoro's head in.

They've barely exchanged two words since Zoro kissed, no, RAPED his mouth, but the swordsman is always there, propping up the galley table.

"Aren't those a bit tight?"

Sanji turns to see Zoro nod at the old cut-off jeans he's wearing.

"They're all I had left. Everything else is covered in blood. Damn Marines, how many times a day do they need to attack?"

Then what Zoro said registers.

Zoro's already on him, hands everywhere, and when Sanji gasps an eager tongue presses into his mouth.

Breaks free. "Bastard, stop!"

But Zoro bites at his neck and already the jeans feel tighter.


Try To Conceal Any Unattractive Features


"Bastard, hate you."

Zoro just smirks.

"Hate turtlenecks, make me so fucking hot."

"Mmm, hot, definitely."

Really smirking now.

"Shut up!" Flush of embarrassment adds to discomfort.

Tugs at collar.

"...Take it off."

"No."

"Take it off."

"No!"

"Take it off!"

"NO!"

And then they're a mess of limbs on the floor, Sanji snarling and Zoro careful to avoid the blonde's thrashing legs.

Sanji ends up with his arms tangled in the offending turtleneck and Zoro's tongue tracing the skin of his navel.

He means to say no. He groans instead.

"Keep your voice down or I'll give you another hickey."


Accessories ALWAYS Make An Outfit Better


On edge. Snapping at everyone.

Sanji doesn't understand what this ... this thing with the swordsman is. Beyond a few kisses and gropes, everything appears normal.

It's leaving him frustrated.

Fingers the nearly-faded mark on his neck. No need to cover it for nightwatch.

Low growl behind him.

"You're an hour early."

"Touch it again."

Pause.

"Say what?"

Doesn't know how Zoro moves so fast. Yanked forward, teeth now grazing over still-sensitive flesh.

"Stop."

Zoro leans back. Eyes dark, truthful, terrifying.

"No."

Strong arm around his waist, tongue replacing teeth at his neck.

"I like marking you."

Sanji shivers.


It Is Important To Keep Garments In Excellent Condition


Head spinning, not sure when he got backed against the mast.

Feeble attempts to push Zoro away. Lies.

"The others -"

"- are asleep."

Unable to speak, mouth claimed in a searing kiss.

Clawing at shoulders, pushing or pulling. Can't stop the soft whine that builds in his throat from escaping.

Zoro pulls back, snarls, and rips his shirt open.

Doesn't think to complain.

Is all but thrown to the deck.

Reaches blindly but Zoro is already there.

Shouldn't be so weak, shouldn't want this so bad.

Teeth at his ear, blunt nails scraping down his stomach.

Wraps his legs around Zoro's waist, moans at the sensation of the other moving between his thighs.

Can't stop moaning.


Always Feel Confident In What You Wear


Skin against skin, his shirt and Zoro's discarded.

Zoro's hand between them, feeling him through his trousers. Biting his lips to stifle his cries.

The shockingly loud hiss of a zipper.

Freezes as Zoro eases his trousers down his thighs, purposely slow, teasing.

Covers his face with one arm.

"No!" Voice harsh, panting, Zoro jerks his arm away.

"Look at me."

Obediently licks the fingers pressed into his mouth.

"Always look at me."

Cries out at the first intrusion.

"Always."

Almost screams as the finger crooks.

And he can't look away, can't hide from the intensity in Zoro's face, anymore than he can keep from thrashing as a second finger slides in.

Whispered. "Always."


Surround Yourself With People Who Know What Suits You


Wraps arms around neck, legs around hips.

Wants to watch Zoro's face as he presses in but can't keep his eyes open.

Gasping, moaning, sobbing, and Zoro is there, fully-sheathed inside him, their foreheads resting together, shuddering breaths together.

Wants to look at Zoro but can't, it's too much.

"So fucking beautiful."

And he never thought he'd hear the man above him say those words about anything, ever, and his eyes fly open and, God, he means it, can see it clearly.

And then Zoro's moving, and Sanji's back is arching, and he wants to hear it again.

Zoro somehow knows.

"So ... so ..." Groaning, no more words.

But it's enough.


The Most Important Feature Of Any Wardrobe Is A Smile


Teeth bared, sweat, scars, eyes tightly shut, thrusting into Sanji with animal ferocity.

A hand finds its way between their joined bodies and Zoro kisses Sanji, hungrily swallowing the loud cry the blonde releases.

Too much pressure, too much friction, too much, too intense, trying to pull Zoro closer, sparks and fire and he's sinking, soaring, can feel Zoro coating his insides, and then he's melting, boneless, and the swordsman's weight above him feels so real.

And they're naked, sprawled across the deck, and anyone could wander out and see them but when Sanji, finally, tries to move, Zoro only grunts and rewards him with a tired but so so perfect kiss.

[identity profile] otakuoverlorde.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
...

Guh, you pwn. That was...so unbelievably hot.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 12:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, I've never pwned something before. Awesome, thank you.

[identity profile] shymagical.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
Oh gah XD It's like Zoro was a shark circling him for *days* (And really, Sanji should have seen this coming XD )

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Hah, fabulous mental image, Zoro with a fake fin and an evil grin (hey, I'm a poet, don't you know it). And, yes, it is entirely Sanji's fault. I have no sympathy for him.

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[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com - 2006-04-02 09:30 (UTC) - Expand

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[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com - 2006-04-02 15:42 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] noodle6680.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 09:22 am (UTC)(link)
woah...

fucking awesome!!

This line right here was the best, "The apron made me do it."

Of course is did Zoro. -Grins-

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
When in doubt, blame your actions on catchy slogans. Works every time.

[identity profile] kotszok.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 09:37 am (UTC)(link)
I... I... can find no words. You write THE most amazing drabbles in the words. Theyr'e funny, they're intense, they're scary, they're perfect. Just... 100%, pure gold. Beautiful.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
*blushes enough for hair to catch on fire* Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're very kind and I kinda want to print your comments out and hand them to people on the street, saying "That's about me!" Really I'd say something more witty and modest, but my hair seems to be on fire.

[identity profile] vejiicakes.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 10:05 am (UTC)(link)
Waaaaaay too hot ^_^

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 12:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, come now. We both know there's no such thing as 'way too hot' where Zoro and Sanji are concerned. ;)

[identity profile] hoboshorts.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Made me laugh and go "rawr~ ♥" so... *scribbles A++++++++ at the top* X^3

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay, with grades like that, you can be my teacher any day!

...Why does that sound dirty?

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[identity profile] hoboshorts.livejournal.com - 2006-04-01 17:16 (UTC) - Expand

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[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com - 2006-04-01 17:19 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] chinchilla82.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)
GUH. *brainmelts*

You win. You and your crack plotbunnies.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, yes, stroke the plot bunnies, stroke them good...

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[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com - 2006-04-02 09:32 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] plotbunny-tiff.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
My internal Fangirl, Writer, and Hentai Chibis are having a cagematch over who gets to worship you more...so all I can manage is a rather lame "You are teh winz" sort of comment, because really, you do win at life. I've not come this close to nosebleeding over a fic in quite some time.

Hmm...although, starting the First National Temple of Salmon Pink might be a worthwhile endevor...I'll have to look into that.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 05:21 pm (UTC)(link)
*flying hug attack of love* Thank you soooooooooooo much. I'd blush and tell you to stop being silly about Temples, but, damn it, I want hot monks in pink robes!

[identity profile] bamf-girl.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Whoa. Now if I had something like THAT to wake me up everymorning, I'd just about be in heaven. Excellent writing and you brought it all together wonderfully.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahh, waking up to Zoro and Sanji getting down and dirty beats breakfast in bed any day.

...Unless it's pancakes, obviously.
ext_3916: (Default)

[identity profile] tonko-ni.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Zoro's fingers are tangling in the afore-mentioned tie, tugging Sanji closer.

Sometimes I think I read all this for the sex, but then I remember the chase. Rrrrowrrr.

And this:

"The apron made me do it."

Wins.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Heehee, with these two, the chase is bloody and violent and so so good. I want Sanji's apron. Makes me wish I could draw. *sigh* I don't think stick figures and colouring over the lines would quite do him the justice he deserves.

[identity profile] chibi-trillian.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
And here I'd thought that ZoSan couldn't be done interestingly anymore. This, however, was clever, well-written, in-character, and hot. And it had EvilSlut!Zoro. The universe needs more of him.

You win the Internet.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
*fondles the Internet* Thank you so much, they're a fun couple to toy with. And EvilSlut!Zoro in action is always a joy to behold.

[identity profile] paxnirvana.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
*dissolves into happy goo* Ah... hot, horny, predatory Zoro stalking Sanji. My. Absolute. Favorite. And a Sanji-clothes theme too... oh my... ohmy *fans self*

Zoro's already on him, hands everywhere, and when Sanji gasps an eager tongue presses into his mouth.

Best line. *becomes even more goo-like*

But they're all perfectly done. Kudos. Awards. Fangirls melted into buckets. ^___^

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
With Sanji, it's all about the clothes. ;)

I've never been given a bucket of melted fangirls before. But if you hold up a picture of Johnny Depp, the goo inside starts slopping around and trying to break free. Interesting.

[identity profile] chiiae.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh...that's so hot...
pardon me cause my minds slowly turning to mush...
So wonderful! And well written.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Mushy minds are the very best kind. Thank you for the lovely comment.

[identity profile] azura-bushroot.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay that was hot! :D Total droolage XD

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:33 am (UTC)(link)
*hands out bibs*

[identity profile] genuinelie.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahh - at first I thought they were independent drabbles, but the final cohesiveness just made this too awesome for words.

But I'll try anyway.

Gah.

I failed ^^

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:35 am (UTC)(link)
Tsk, there is no failure here, Salmon Pink's Journal is a World Of Happiness.

...Or is that DisneyLand? *runs from Disney lawyers*

[identity profile] yhibiki.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
That was so good. Wow. :) Total love for you!

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:36 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, thank you. *huggles*

[identity profile] cneko.livejournal.com 2006-04-01 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Clothes do indeed make the man...horny, that is. ^__^

This was wonderful. The way you tied all of it together was awesome. Also, Evil Horny Stalker Zoro is one of my favs and clueless uke Sanji was even better. I think it's been said before but it deserves to be said again: You are teh winnar.

*goes to read again*

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:42 am (UTC)(link)
Clothes do indeed make the man...horny, that is.

Even that Skypiea shirt? ;)

[identity profile] kala-aira.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my, I love coming home from work to something like this! Very nice, hot indeed.

I loved the part when Sanji was fingering his hickey and Zoro told him to touch it again. Gah

*melts*

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Mmm, Zoro is a dirty dirty beast. But Sanji's a delicious flirt, whether he always realises it or not. It all balances out.

[identity profile] morrigan-shadow.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Guh-huh...*Drools*

Oh, um, *coughs*, yes. This touches me in a way that if Christian Bale touched me that way, I would go, "Hmmmm, yes, that's nice".

As you can see, I loved it and want to steal every last bit of talent you have. God, SexyStalker!Zoro and ReluctantPosturingVirgin!Sanji rule porn so very, very hard.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:45 am (UTC)(link)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Christian Bale.

...Sorry, I'm back. SexyStalker!Zoro and ReluctantPosturingVirgin!Sanji wrote the porn rulebook. And then they had sex on it.

[identity profile] sakurazuka-jae.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
Mmmmrggghh... hot and sweet, and brings a whole new meaning to "dressing for success".

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:47 am (UTC)(link)
Heehee, Sanji's totally dressing for Zoro's approval, whether he can admit it or not.

[identity profile] alita-b-angel.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
That was awesome. It just was. I love drabble series that all slot together, and the fashion theme is INGENIOUS because Sanji is totally the vainest bishounen this side of Grandline. I like how his wardrobe is worn away in each drabble, like Zoro is metaphorically stripping away Sanji's layers of defense. I love how campy and flambuouant this is, and it made me chuckle and squirm happily as the best kind of sex is the HappyFunTimesSex wherein Sanji is molested on deck in full view, and no more clean clothes to change into.

Favourite line: "The apron made me do it."
HEE. Marine courts have been inundated with this excuse for the past year, criminals and pirates everywhere have been claiming to see pink and pandas, and while they are obviously insane, the common thread had lead to the commission of an investigative team. They were found all clutching bits of a flimsy pink apron to their noses, inhaling happily like it was a recreational drug.

Hee. And that is why Sanji needed a new one.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:50 am (UTC)(link)
I like how his wardrobe is worn away in each drabble, like Zoro is metaphorically stripping away Sanji's layers of defense.

And I like how people find messages in my fics I didn't even intend to write. Makes me feel all smart. And stuff. Although, I totally meant for this to be interpreted that way. Yes, siree. *shifty eyes*

Beware the awesome power of Sanji's apron! It does spend all day happily rubbing against his crotch, after all.

[identity profile] ember-alda.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:49 am (UTC)(link)
"Sanji might scream."

Ohohoho, I don't know why, but this line did it for me, I laughed for fifty-bajillion light years after that!!!...and yes, I know light years not a time... *shifts eyes*

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
Light years can be a timeframe if you want it to be a timeframe. *pets*

[identity profile] skyrat13.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
That was brilliant. It's going in my memories.

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you very much. *hearts* And bonus points for appropriate icon usage!

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[identity profile] skyrat13.livejournal.com - 2006-04-02 16:00 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] kazou-kiriyama.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Hotness *__*

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-02 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*gratefulness*

[identity profile] kamadakeknight.livejournal.com 2006-04-03 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
GUH. I really wasn't going to go on LJ today but HOT DAMN I'm glad I did. Those were so freaking amazing!

You definitely win with "The apron made me do it." FEAR THE APRON OF DOOM AND IT'S MIND CONTROL POWERS!

[identity profile] salmon-pink.livejournal.com 2006-04-04 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
- Salmon Pink cannot answer. Salmon Pink is currently treating the apron to a loving handwash. Salmon Pink would like to refute these claims of mind control as ridiculous nonsense. Salmon Pink must now run around the garden in the freezing cold in an attempt to dry the apron. Salmon Pink is happy to do this, since the dryer displeases the apron. -

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